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Keep your sex life spicy during social distancing

Find a cure for your horniness and boredom with a few inventive ideas from our queer community.
PLEASE NOTE: Illustrations in this article are sexually explicit and may be triggering for some audiences.

Illustrations by local queer artists Baruch Porras-Hernandez, Diego Gomez, Bishakh Som, Our Fellow Mortals, and Gaia WXYZ. 

With hookup culture on hiatus, what are you doing to keep your sex life alive? Find a cure for your horniness and boredom with a few inventive ideas from our queer community. 

Host (or attend) a virtual sex party. It’s fine if you don’t want to show your face or other body parts, said Andrew Kahn, a writer from New York who described his experience in this article for Slate.

Zoom sex party
Illustration by: Baruch Porras-Hernandez;
Instagram: @baruchporrashernandez, Twitter: @baruchisonfire

Support local businesses by shopping online. Stock up on videos, sex toys and other supplies from your local porn store that make solo-play more fun. 

Sex toys illustration
Illustration by: Gaia WXYZ; Instagram:

Jerk off. A lot. This will help relieve sexual tension, said Race Bannon, a San Francisco writer and activist in this BAR article about how COVID-19 is affecting the LGBTQ leather and kink communities.

Jerk off illustration
Illustration by: Our Fellow Mortals
Instagram: @ourfellowmortals

Role play with your regular partner. Since you’re not out meeting new people, try playing out these fantasies suggested by Alexander Cheves in The Advocate.

role play illustration
Illustration by: Bishakh Som
Instagram: @biche_bash

Invite someone you are flirting with, or one of your Tinder matches, to meet online on a video date. Order them UberEats and then FaceTime and flirt during dinner.

Dinner date
Illustration by: Bishakh Som
Instagram: @biche_bash

Sign up for free PornHub premium content. Starting March 24, premium content is available for free through their “stay home” landing page

Porn hub
Illustration by: Diego Gomez
Instagram: @DesignNurd

Build sexual tension by sexting. Get tips on best apps, privacy and more in this article on Mashable.

Illustration by: Gaia WXYZ

Explore voyeurism and exhibitionism. Although these are loaded words, there’s nothing problematic about watching or being watched when consenting adults are involved. Get a third to watch you and your partner, or be the third (virtually) to another couple.

Illustration by: Our Fellow Mortals
Instagram: @ourfellowmortals

Search for (and enjoy) gay anime video porn! You can find a variety on your porn site of choice. Or if you’re feeling more love than lust, look into gay anime storybook style collections (here’s a top 10).

Anime porn
Illustration by: Baruch Porras-Hernandez
Instagram: @baruchporrashernandez, Twitter: @baruchisonfire

Never tried kink and role play? Now’s the time to dive in… play that doesn’t involve penetration, oral sex, kissing or too much touching is safer. It’s even better when you send your playmate home without getting off! Check out Leathermen’s Discussion Group and Onyx.

Illustration by: Diego Gomez
Instagram: @DesignNurd


Additional sex & COVID-19 resources

Is sex on hold in the queer community with COVID-19?

Many of us are wondering what kinds of sex we should be having (if any). Felipe Flores explores how people are evaluating risk, and making decisions that work for their own lives.

Information from the San Francisco Department of Public Health about Sex & COVID-19

The San Francisco Department of Public Health (SFDPH) recommends avoiding close contact – including sex – with anyone outside your household. If you do have sex with others, have as few partners as possible and avoid group sex. If you usually meet your sex partners online or make a living by having sex, consider taking a break from in-person dates. Video dates, sexting, or chat rooms may be options for you.

Additional tips from SFDPH: 

Limit sex to your main partner(s) or regulars that you live with and/or have sex with.  

Avoid kissing anyone who is not part of your small circle of close contacts.

Use condoms to reduce contact with saliva or feces, especially during oral or anal sex.

Wash up before and after sex. Wash hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. If soap and water are not readily available, use a hand sanitizer that contains at least 60% alcohol. Cover all surfaces of your hands and rub them together until they feel dry.

Wash sex toys with soap and warm water. 

Disinfect keyboards and touch screens that you share with others (for video chat, for watching pornography, or for anything else).

Skip sex if you or your partner is not feeling well.

If you or a partner may have COVID-19, avoid sex and especially kissing.

If you start to feel unwell or if you develop symptoms, call your primary care provider. 

Can I get COVID-19 through sexual activity?

YES!  Exposure to the virus can occur during sexual activities. The virus that causes COVID-19 has not yet been found in semen or vaginal fluid, but has been found in the feces of people who are infected with the virus. The virus can be spread through direct contact with saliva or mucus, through the air when someone sneezes or coughs, or by touching a surface that has the virus on it and then touching your mouth, nose or eyes. We still have a lot to learn about COVID-19 and sex.

Joshua O’Neal is the director of sexual health services at San Francisco AIDS Foundation overseeing the development and delivery of HIV, STI, HCV, PrEP, health education and other sexual health initiatives.

Baruch Porras-Hernandez

Baruch Porras-Hernandez is a San Francisco writer, stand up comedian, illustrator, host, curator, organizer, and author. He is the community events manager for Strut at San Francisco AIDS Foundation. Instagram: @baruchporrashernandez, Twitter: @baruchisonfire